The Baloney Martyr Ends First Month of Captivity

Altomare in happier days

The jailed leader of the Baloney Brigade stock market conspiracy loons, former Universal Express CEO Richard Altomare, today concludes his first month of confinement in Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York City.

He was sent there by a federal court judge for contempt of court, because he had failed to turn over some of the money he stole from his company. Instead, Altomare has been rotting in jail, just as he deserves.

By all accounts, Altomare views himself as a true martyr to his cause -- the cause of CEOs everywhere who blame naked short selling for their companies' stock price declines, even as they loot the coffers.

A letter supposedly from Altomare is making the rounds of stock market message boards. I have no idea if it is genuine. In fact, it reads like one of the hilarious parodies that have been published on a spoof website.

Altomare ends his supposed missive as follows:

Please assure our shareholders, on my behalf, that we shall prevail.
Also, please assure them that I will not be broken.

I certainly hope not. The sight of this buffoon behind bars is surely an enjoyable spectacle.

© 2008 Gary Weiss. All rights reserved.