Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Live From New York, It's Bernie Madoff!

CNBC has live coverage of The Shtunk today

I see that CNBC has a live webcam focused on the front entrance to the U.S. Courthouse in lower Manhattan, where prosecutors are trying to toss The Shtunk, Bernie Madoff, in the can.

The media circus surrounding Madoff is amazing. CNBC actually had a helicopter follow The Shtunk, O.J. Simpson style, as he rode to the courthouse.

I hope these guys realize that the courthouse has two entrances, as well as a Bridge of Sighs to the holding pen next store. There should really be two webcams, at least, if Madoff is to be suitably hounded.

Bernie is in court today because prosecutors unwisely agreed to have him freed before trial. Being the shtunk that he is, Bernie used his freedom to transfer assets in defiance of a court order. A U.S. magistrate turned down the U.S. Attorney's effort to reverse its error, and hopefully the appeal today will succeed. But I wouldn't hold my breath.

UPDATE: Surprise surprise, the appeal was denied. CNBC followed Madoff as he climbed into his Shtunkmobile (below) and was driven back to his penthouse.

UPDATE: As of 3:43 p.m., it was apparent that the Shtunkmobile was using the FDR Drive to go back to Bernie's penthouse confinement.

With all his money and influence, Bernie Madoff still hasn't learned that First Avenue is usually better than the FDR Drive. How sad.

UPDATE, 3:50 p.m.: Bernie exits at 42nd Street and turns up First Avenue. See?

UPDATE, 4 p.m. Bernie turns west on 59th Street.

Maybe he should have stayed on the FDR Drive after all. He'd be home by now if he'd taken the subway. But subways are for the masses, not for The Shtunk.

America is all Shtunk-conscious today. But make no mistake about it: in a year or so, nobody will remember what happened.

UPDATE: It's said that the Shtunk was wearing a bulletproof vest today because of death threats, poor dear. I hope it wasn't too uncomfortable. You know, I wonder if the Shtunkmobile was armor-plated, like Hitler's limousine?

It seems to me that if he's worried about being assaulted by one of the hundreds of people he's ruined, perhaps he should voluntarily go to jail?

© 2009 Gary Weiss. All rights reserved.

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